i feel shitty.
i feel alone.
i feel shielded from reality
i feel rich and overprivledged
*note I am pre-period, this is normal

but i guess the world can't be full off high-class condos and mochavilles.

i am very much average, yet, i live so unaverage.

at least my life is not boring.

but i am having a hard time understanding my life, my future, and how to deal when bad things go wrong. i want my daddy. but i am much happier, secure, than when i was a child. i have my freedom. but i have to behave, like everyone else, no attitude, yes, smile, subservient, and moderate. don't draw attention to yourself in public.

I'm alive. Not sick, yet, healthy, i think. yet, i'm sad.

I should really take advice from Dennis Leary and now
SHUT THE FUCK UP

so apodino may be staying at my place Thursday night depending on his flight delays. I'm supposed to meet with my lab team Thursday night.

I'm not going to sleep tonight and tomorrow am I?

But I would like to see him.