I'm taking updates for my Friends page on my website. I realize it is outdated. Some of you I've lost contact and some of you aren't on my special page.

My friends site is here

Please e-mail me for updates and you must include a photo!

thank-you roseprofessor for the postcard from st louis :)

Hey k_diddy, lookie what I found on the internet by a random search. I forgot about that long time ago!

Two Graduation Parties, Two Weekends in a Roll.

I'm glad to be done. I'm glad that I did these. It is definately something to remember for many years to come. I want to thank my parents for hosting the party last week and helping setup/cleanup the party this week. I also want to thank my friend Dot k_diddy and some of my coworkers, who probably don't read this journal, for helping setup/clean up.

It has been a busy weekend and busy day for me. I've had to balance a lot this weekend and today I interviewed the realtors. My head hurt like hell all today from lack of sleep and umm *cough*. I was up all night having stomach problems from the greasy chicken. You'd think I learn my lesson from last week. Did I? No... I only had two plates of food.. but I think the greasy chicken and beer didn't do well in my stomach. Note to self, don't eat greasy food and beer after 5 pm.

I had my dairy queen cake :) !! bounce bounce !

I loved the sandwiches from jewel, well at least the wraps. I'd definately order the wraps again. That might be a thought for a small house warming party and much smaller food wise. We had enough food to feed 20-25 people. Did I expect 20 people? NO. Did I expect 15 people? Maybe. Including myself I think there was only a total of 11 people who showed up to my party on sunday which was ok. I guess this means that I need to make more friends.. yep. :)

Got my dining room table and bedroom dresser full of party decorations and food items. I'm counting on dad brining a few boxes to transport these items. I've got plastic bags if necessary.
Dad is brining the beer and soda that people didn't drink from my last party, which is a lot. I've got liters of soda pop too. I think there will be plenty of food and games. I'm still undecisive regarding the dance game. I think I'm going to bring it anyways, it may be a fun thing for the party.

I'm picking Dot up from the train station around 1:30 and I'm so glad that she's not only coming to my party but going to help me setup and cleanup. My parents are probably going to head out earlier.
I've got lots of card games and things to do.

This afternoon I've got to pick up my dairy queen cake and sandwich trays from Jewel. I'm sending my dad off to get the chicken from KFC. The money/gifts people weren't supposed to give me at my last party is definately paying for this party.. I think it made it about even but I thank my parents for throwing me the last party and coming to help out with the setup of this one.

After this party I'm partied out and I hope the next party I'll be throwing will be a house warming party in my new townhome/condo.. I will go house hunting next week hopefully. Got to select my agent first.


Other than that.. I'm feeling anxious/anxiety regarding social situations but I think a beer or two will cool that fear down.

Now that my internet is now working. Who all is coming to my party tomorrow?!!

Had another one of those evenings where I mopped around in bed and laid around, cried, and felt terrible and about past, present, and future, when I should have no reason too. I need to be working my second exam, and I have no excuse.. I played my Sims2 game for an hour, ate dinner, briefly talked with Joe, and about his financial situation- a terrible topic, and then took a nap for an hour. I am in peaceful slumber and that mental state half-way of being awake and in dreams.. where you know you can lay in bed without any cares in the world.

But my heart kept racing and my thoughts kept racing through my head, mostly about a lot os stupid stuff, like the tv episodes I watched Sunday night, or the anxieties I have about my body, my exam, my career, my future. The beatles woke me up.. but I woke up about 10 seconds before the song starts...

Then as I walk out of the bedroom the white fat cat prince runs to the kitchen in anticipation and cries multiple times when he doesn't see any fancy feast wet food lying in his dish when he's got plenty all he can eat dry food. The grey cat follows me into the bathroom to whine and rub against me, and incessant meowing for his fancy feast. I imagine my kids will be somewhat similar.. but I hope they will have another parent to whine half the time.

A lot of it revolves around my current relationship, my living situation, and my hopes for the future. Funny , life it is something else.

Took a look at my legs in the bathroom and thought I looked beastly and couldn't remember the last time I looked down there and shaved, oh yes, it had to have been like half a month ago, and my legs looked like they hadn't been shaved all winter. Hairy!! I must be slowly becoming a man :)

I laid on the couch for half an hour. The plaid couch that I paid about $900 about 4 years ago. It has a sofa sleeper, but I'm afraid my last guest must have bent the steel frame out of wake, because it now doesn't come out and I cannot bend back the steel to get it to unfold. When I move, if I can move, I will definately buy new furntiture that is better and won't attract cat hair.

As I laid on the couch I could not get myself to get up and do anything, anything at all. It's sad. I kept looking at my bachelor's degree hanging up above my fireplace and the empty diploma frame for my master's. This has been a lot to accomplish in life, but what did I give up and not pursue that is going to affect my future and happiness in life? Why did I let myself go and not glue my friendships and relationships together stronger?

I want the American dream, just like everybody else. Well I feel that I worked hard to get educated in order to achieve it. Well where is it? I want to be able to afford my own place and have some money left over to enjoy it. I want to be married to a man who can contribute more than his fair share and provide for me if I should decide to be a stay-at-home or part-time mom. I want kids and and family and friends. My family relations are almost nonexistent.

At Easter we got together to eat and that was all. Family is not a dinner every major holiday, but it seems that way for me.

I guess it is what is is, and fantasize about marrying into a decent sized and close family.

What made me even more depressed is I think Joe does not have the motivation to provide these things for me. Love is Love, but Life takes more than love alone. My logical side has gotten me where I am today, and I'm going to count on it for the future.

First I want to thank roseprofessor for sending me a nice postcard of Newport, Rhode Island. Keep those roses growing strong.

I haven't been feeling much like writing on live journal lately. I've been having a lot on my mind lately. Stress with school, work, boyfriend, and myself. I've also been feeling kind fo depressed and fat, and lazy.

Balance. Think about balance. I'm also realizing that as much as I like Joe's company it's a distraction from the goals and things I want to accomplish during my free time like exercise, study, sleep, and get personal things done.

My life is going to change after I get out of school. I keep telling myself that.

Today in the mail I received the $110 diploma frame that I ordered through the school's preferred vendor. It's lovely and a bit bigger than my undergraduate degree. I'm not attending the ceremony and do not how I'm going to get through the red tape to get my degree mailed to me.

I'm probably going to have two parties. The first will be a barbecure at my dad's house in Hammond, Indiana with all his friends and our family. My friends are welcome to come to if they want to drive an hour there and an hour back if they got nothing better to do and want to get out. Then I'm going to try and rent the clubhouse at my apartment complex for my graduation party. I'd like to have Panda Express catering (Dave and Amy, I'm stealing your catering idea~!)

So what are my plans after getting done with school?

Drink... drink... oh wait... seriously! I'm looking forward to getting my serious regarding my health and exercise goals.
Another goal of mine uis to read and learn as much as I can about real estate, buying my first home, mortgages, home maintenance, and other issues regarding home ownership.

I will achieve my goals.

I will buy a place to live this fall and it will be a smart decision.

I will be healthier this fall.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Got up around 5am to take a shower and drink some water. Laid around in bed before then because I was thirsty, hot, and countless thoughts kept running through my head like complex mathematical equations, lines of code, and my brain consistently going through the solutions. The effects of the mid-term exam crisis in my life still had not abdated. Plus thoughts of work related communications and I self-critiqued myself adding more salt to my fragile self-esteem.

Everything felt better after I drank half a water bottle of cool purified Dasani water from my fridge, took a shower, sipped two spoons of peptobesmol for my Friday night Bacon-butterburger and cheese curd sins, and laid back into bed.

I slept until 10 am and woke up healthy and refreshed. My mid-term exam was removed from my mind.

I tidied up a bit and then logged into work so that I could work on my individual development plan that should have been completed Friday.After doing the dishes and some of the laundry I decided to go out and get a pedicure. The first place I went to was too busy so I left. I ended up going to a Nails store one owened by chinese near the Trader Joes in Lombard on Roosevelt. As soon as I walked in the door, there was a seat ready for my to take a pedicure. I had no wait time and I tipped her well. She laughed as she washed the bottom of my feet and I wiggled them because it tickled. I told her this is why I only get this done twice a year! After my pedicure I went in search of the small Pet Store that used to be in that strip mall, but apparently they went out of business, which is a shame. I walked over to Trader Joes and stocked up on "bag" dinners, mostly chinese food and I happened to buy some fresh flowers, cheese cake, and other delicous items.

After trader joe's I had an inkling for something to drink and contemplated the dairy queen in the same strip mall. I walked in and did not see anything that would satisfy that drink need until I remembered I had about a half a can of diet coke left in the car and left.

I drove home and was lucky to find a space empty in front of my apartment building. I was glad that all my food from trader joe's was packed into one easy to carry brown paper bag. I grabbed my mail on the way into my building.

Did a lot of Bills, yuk, then went to the apartment office to pick up a package. My new DDR pad came in, and I must say I am not impressed. I did get what I ordered, but I thought the pad would be a little bit better. :(

What else did I do today? I made some garlic chicken pasta mix that I bought from Trader Joe's, oh was that oh so good! I cleaned a bit, but not too much. Did dishes, laundry, took out the trash, played some Sims2, studied, played with my kitties, surfed the net at my friend's wedding site. My friend Andrew whom I meet at Valpo is getting married in less than a day (in the Phillipines)!!!! I'm so so excited for them. I want to attend their ceremony in Culver, IN but am getting worried about that weekend. The professor in my class said he would give us another take home exam on the 12th of April, and if it was as difficult as it was before, I will need all the time I can get.

Anyways, I'm enjoying the night on my balcony and reading with nice outdoor lightning. The kitties love it too! Tomorrow I am supposed to visit Joe. I am looking forward to that.